Klingon programmers
Top 12 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon Programmer
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"Specifications are for the weak and timid!"
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"This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors
if I am to do battle with this code!"
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"You cannot really appreciate Dilbert until you've read it in the
original Klingon."
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"Indentation?! I will show you how to indent when I indent your
skull!"
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"What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software
'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of
designers and quality assurance people in its wake."
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"Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' -- they have
'arguments' -- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM."
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"Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the
weak."
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"I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth
contest. They will not concern us again."
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"A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!"
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"By filing this bug you have challenged the honor of my family.
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"You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where
you stand!"
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"Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it!
Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!"